Suicidal

I shuffled through gravel

In black high heeled boots

Made of dead cows and

Stitched by slaves

And I laughed at everyone

I passed and pointed

as if

I found no flaws

In myself.

The change in my pocket

Knocked against my thighs

And against each other

Like my very own

Instrumental minstrel

Following my every move.

One heel broke and I tumbled

Into the soiled gravel.

I was vaguely embarrassed

Falling face first

In front of a group

Of slender blonde topped

White men

Resembling cigarettes

While Smoking cigarettes

And watching them

Laugh at me

Falling in my righteousness

Like felled timber

Into the strip of gravel

Lining the sidewalk

But it was

Mostly tolerable because

I was mostly numb

To begin with.